Bill McGarvey, Tell Your Mother

Tell Your Mother

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“Tell Your Mother”

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If I made you laugh forever

If you smiled until you died

If the stars lined up together

Like they do from time to time

Would it be all fine?

If it’s not enough, enough

And the times are tough on love

If you’d like a game of chance

And you live for Truth or Dare

Part of you wants to make it

Part of you needs to take your time

If I’m on the last leg of my pants

And you’re still trying to find a chair

It’s gonna be hard to make it

If I’m the only naked one

So you pushed me now to shove

That’s no way to fall in love

So what if you want me to stay

So now that we’re alright, just get away

So what if you want me to stay

Away

And I can’t leave

 

If it’s not enough, enough

And the times are tough, so tough

So what if you want me to stay

So give me a reason to anyway

So what if you want me to stay

Away

So what if you want me to stay

So now that I’ve come home, just run away

So what if you want me to stay

Away

 

by Bill McGarvey and Stephen Dima

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Billy Liar Music, BMI

 

 

Tell Your Mother

I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better

If you put it all down into a first-class letter

Make sure you’ve got the nine-digit zip code

Then throw it right out of your bedroom window

A little layer of wake up makeup

She’s playing games with the ladies in waiting

Dressing in styles to fit their conversations

So many skinny girls in a rock n roll nation

I’m gonna tell your mother

I think I found her long lost baby tonight

Pretty soon someone’ll turn up and spot you

Take you home when they see right through your disguise

 

Look at you with your cigarette poses

You suck it all down, taking lethal doses

Working on your frozen moments

As a child you screamed for your ice cream cones and

You probably have a big brother

He liked to tease you when your friends came over

Scaring the boy you’d taken to your prom

You swore you would kill him when you got home

I’m gonna tell your father

I think I found his long gone baby tonight

Pretty soon someone’ll sneak up behind you

Take you home when they see right through your disguise

Don’t even bother asking

You’re all alone and I’m scared of what you’re gonna find

 

A little layer of wake up makeup

You play the games with the ladies in waiting

Making the room feel a few degrees colder

It’s the price you got to pay when you’re trying to get over

I’m gonna tell your mother

I think I found her long lost baby tonight

Pretty soon someone’ll slip up and kiss you

Take you home when they see right through your disguise

I’m gonna tell your father

I think I found his long gone baby tonight

Pretty soon someone’ll show up and hold you

Take you home when they see right through your disguise

 

I’ll tell your big brother

He’ll take you home and give you a piece of his mind

I’m taking you over and over

I’ll take you on so I can take you right off my mind

 

by Bill McGarvey and Stephen Dima

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Billy Liar Music, BMI

 

 

5 o’clock Hero

I get home early

Little man, little feet

First-time winner, fifth grade spelling bee

Mom’s in the kitchen, she’s defrosting meat

Dad’s in his corner living room seat

Mom says “OK, spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E for me.”

“No, no instead let me show you what it means”

Send him on home

The 5 o’clock hero

 

Dad is staring at the TV screen

Cartoons are on but the sound is weak

Coyote chases that roadrunner again

Takes another sledgehammer to the head

I wonder how long before he kills that bird dead

Send him on home

The 5 o’clock hero

 

And all the self-help books on every shelf can’t help us now

To all the unread Winners and to our dusty Personal Power

 

The palm behind the crucifix from a Sunday so long past

It welcomed him to Jerusalem on the back of a borrowed ass

Tonight, tonight I brush my teeth and then hurry back to bed

Tonight, tonight I sleep so hard I resurrect the dead

Send him on home

He’s the 5 o’clock hero

 

by Bill McGarvey and Stephen Dima

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Billy Liar Music, BMI

 

 

Now

Something must be burning

Cause girl, I know you’re cooking

It’ll always be your life

Setting up the table

Biting back your anger

Polish up your forks and knives

Are you hungry now?

Come sit down

It’s over now

You should be proud

 

Hear the neighbor’s dogs

Barking at the summer

And October’s nearly done

No one wants to tell them

The sun’s already lifted

And there’s no more warmth to come

It’s over now

But they still howl

They found us out

Those useless hounds

 

You’re so good

You’re so sweet

You’re a reason to make ends meet

If I only knew how

Lucky days in a week

Seven chances for relief

What more do you need now?

 

We feel like a painting

A frozen little moment

That almost comes alive

You don’t need a critic

Or any great appreciation

To see that something’s died

We’re older now

It’s all around

We’re tired out

We can’t sleep now

 

Life is good

Life is sweet

But then I’m living on memory

I’ll have to teach me how

Lucky days in a week

Seven chances at misery

What more do you need now?

 

It’s over now

Take your bows

An empty house

Your finest hour

 

You’re so good

You’re so sweet

You’re a reason to make ends meet

If I only knew how

Any day of the week

A little bit of our masterpiece

The paint’s all dried up now

 

by Bill McGarvey and Stephen Dima

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Billy Liar Music, BMI

 

 

Jericho Smile

She’s never heard of Texas

She’s camped out in Queens

Her mother’s bought her a Lexus

She’s a clean machine

She was crying in a bank

When we first met

Filling out a deposit slip

She broke down instead

 

She’ gonna be just fine

She’s got a Jericho smile

 

There’s a room where she walks round in circles

And where she says all her prayers

Four walls closing in on her

It’s like they’re not even there

 

She’ gonna be just fine

She’ gonna be just fine

She’s got a Jericho smile

 

That’s OK

Let them laugh and shout her away

Let them forget the sound of her name

And tremble at the site of her face

Let her walls fall down, she’s not that strong

Maybe it’s good enough to just carry on

 

She’ gonna be just fine

She’ gonna be just fine

She’s got a Jericho smile

 

by Bill McGarvey and Eric de Picciotto

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI, Caught in the Rain Music

 

 

Look What You’ve Done To Me

Maybe I’m not strong enough

I’m always sure I’m about to fold

I’m waiting here by the phone

The longest cord into a tiny hole

Look what you’ve done to me

I’m an idea changing hands

Batteries for a Christmas tree

You forget that I’m your man

Forget I’m your man

 

Maybe I’m not smart enough

You know the things that I can’t stand

Put up with the stupid stuff

I know those things weren’t in your plans

Look what you’ve done to me

I’m a dollar in your hands

Save it up for emergencies

You should spend it while you can

While you still can

 

Look what you’ve done to me

I’m a friend but not your fan

Tell me off, tell me anything

I swear I’ll try to understand

 

Maybe I’m not sure enough

I always doubt what’s right in my hands

Try again but sure enough

It always feels like my last chance

Look what you’ve done to me

I’m an idea changing hands

Looks like your done with me

I’m a failure as a man

Still I’m your man

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

 

 

Settle Down (Ballad of the Cornfed beauty)

She’s a corn-fed beauty who sleeps on a boat

She works three cubes down, but she lives on the phone

She’s got a caffeine smile and she spit when she spoke

I just might be in love

Settle down

 

She wears mini-skirts and sweaters that don’t quite fit

She’s got bright green eyes that just won’t quit

The Spanish boys on the block blow her whistles and a kiss

But they don’t cross her mind

Settle down

 

From the corner of my eye I can see her now

Tapping a No. 2 pencil to her plucked eyebrow

I should have left my head in the lost and found

A long, long time ago

Settle down

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

 

 

You Do It All Yourself

You do it all yourself

You do it all yourself

Saving up your time

Holding up your life

You do it all yourself

 

Sentimental fools

They’re giving pretty cards and cash to drunken grooms

Borrowed and blue

You’re moving without a sound

You do it all yourself

You do it all yourself

Saving up your time

Holding up your life

You do it all yourself

 

Nobody walked you home from school

So you found your way alone and learned too soon

Innocent and cruel

Takes you a long way down

 

You can never be too careful

You never were too kind

You never let yourself be cared for

You play the victim and commit the crime

You do it all yourself

You do it all yourself

Saving up your time

Calling it a life

You do it all yourself

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

 

 

Hang On

There’s dirty laundry thrown out all over Woodbine Avenue

No one knows what it’s doing there, but we both do

Now, I don’t care if no one gets the joke

I look at you, but I’m just a camera

Your eyes stare back like West Philadelphia

Sad and strong, but hiding something true

 

I’ve fallen down trying to catch up to you

I’ve stumbled down all the wrong avenues

I’m coming strong and someday I’ll be there too

Hang on

 

This city lost it’s love on the day you died

And freedom’s just become one more waste of time

Now Independence Day can go to hell

Let’s take a walk down Island Avenue

I’ve fixed the sidewalks and the street for you

But you won’t know, your feet won’t touch the ground

I can’t let you down, please hang on

 

I’ve fallen down trying to catch up to you

I’ve wandered down alleys and avenues

I’m coming strong and someday I’ll be there too

Hang on

 

Little Kiersten’s learning how to grab the moon

Now, she can’t speak a word but she reaches you

Her mother says that she’s the Lamb of God

She can reach that far

Please hang on

 

I’ve fallen down trying to get close to you

I’ve stumbled down alleys and avenues

I’m coming on and someday I’ll be with you

Hang on

 

I’ve fallen down trying to catch up to you

I’ve wandered down all the wrong avenues

I promise you, someday I’ll be there too

Hang on

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

 

 

That’s What You Get

My sorry was great

Did you hear what I said?

Straight from the heart of a man you thought was ten years dead

Don’t walk away

Don’t go to bed

My sorry was late

But that’s what you get

 

I was waiting for rain

A kid on the corner

My sister would call out my name

“You should be indoors”

But there’s no running away

From where you were meant

The rain came in sheets

Dropped me to my knees

That’s what you get

 

Away

Please stay away

Away

Please take me away

 

It’s one for your time

And two to forget

By three you’re alone

Walking yourself home

That’s what you get

 

Waste

What a waste

Waste

Wasting away

 

It’s one for your time

And two you’ll forget

By three you’re alone

Walking yourself home

That’s what you get

 

When nothing is left

Except the words that you said

That’s what you get

 

Come on and kiss me goodbye

And curse me under your breath

That’s what you get

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

 

 

Standing Next To Gloria Steinem

That’s when I claimed you for mine

I saw you first on the downtown green line

Your arm was pressed against mine

We’re riding local with the whole East Side

Peeping-Toming to your conversation

Your crazy rhythm and your animation

 

You’re maybe 5’ 5”

Strawberry blonde and blue-green eyes

Going off for a while

On Indie films and cheap sub-titles

I turned to see who you were talking to

I stood there paralyzed

Holding the strap right next to you

I still can’t believe my eyes

You were standing next to Gloria Steinem

 

I’d like to ask for your name

Standing next to Gloria Steinem

But what would Gloria say?

Standing next to Gloria Steinem

Staring back at you from bug-eyed glasses from 1973

Wanted to rescue you with free bus passes

But I’m not sure you wanted to be

You were standing next to Gloria Steinem

Little lamb you’re riding next to a lion

Save a little space for one of my kind

And take a chance on me

 

You positively glow

She speaks to you in her famous monotone

Her voice is serious and low

It’s Gloria’s stop and she gets ready to go

She whispers something that starts you blushing

She smiles at me then disappears in the rushing

You were standing next to Gloria Steinem

We must be living in dangerous times

Save a little space for one of my kind

And take a chance on me

You were standing next to Gloria Steinem

You, me and Gloria we make quite an item

You build the walls and I promise to climb them

Someday you’ll fall for me

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

 

 

Outside the Lines

I followed you the other day

Took me ten blocks out of my way

But I didn’t mind at all

You were trying hard to look so mean

Clutching your Home magazine

So I laughed and then you saw

Can you smile?

There’s something I want you to know

 

I went without a face

And tried to look for you in unknown places

Where I knew no one at all

And as the day stretched into years

I became best friends with my worst fears

I was hopeless and so small

And I tried, tried, tried

To be someone I thought you should know

That’s why

I take my life

Outside the lines

 

It’s taken me a long, long time

To move beyond a child’s life

And start feeling like a man

Your pretty face inspired me

To mow your lawn and rake your leaves

If I only knew your name

But you’re fine, fine, fine

You’ll never let your coffee get cold

For your sweet, cream high

I’d take my life

Outside the lines

 

Now, I’ve followed you through Don’t Walk signs

And crossed outside the yellow lines

But you never notice me

And I don’t care what my friends say

I might jay walk my life away

To prove that I’m for real

And sometime

When the red lights start making you blind

For your tired eyes

I’ll take my life

Outside the lines

 

by Bill McGarvey and Stephen Dima

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Billy Liar Music, BMI

 

 

I Hear Voices

I heard some footsteps falling

Behind the back porch door

I told myself all night

It’s the wind and nothing more

At night when I hear voices

At night when I hear voices

They sound like you

 

You may not always love me

Some dreams we cut in half

Our friends have goals and plans

I’m not sure what we have

At night when I hear voices

At night when I hear voices

They call your name

 

I save a snapshot photo

One where I made you smile

Inside a plastic holder

To prove my mind’s not gone wild

At night when I hear voices

At night when I hear voices

They sound like you

 

by Bill McGarvey

From Bill McGarvey’s Tell Your Mother

© Good Thief Music, BMI

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